Why Adults Should Play More

Adulting, but make it play.

Any one of us who has ever been corralled into a supposedly “fun” team-building activity through work or other community groups might scoff at the idea of using play to become more productive, have difficult conversations or even create more inclusive environments. We tossed this proverbial hot potato to play consultant Jeff Harry, who assured us that those corporate icebreakers were more like what he calls “forced fun” than real play. Studies show that most of us can’t do more than four hours of deep work per day. So what is it we are doing with our other four hours? We vote: playing more.

Play—what is it (no, really)?

Jeff defines play as any joyful act, with no purpose, no result and during which you forget about time. Play is the opposite of perfection; it involves curiosity, experimentation and the potential for failure. Play is particular to every person and most important of all, play is a choice—not something you’re forced to do.

A post-pandemic case for it.

Jeff would like to remind you that play got many of us through this pandemic, and will remain key for leaders dealing with post-pandemic stress amongst their workforce. Because play allows us to see people for who they really are and creates a shared experience, it can be used to address burnout, facilitate tough conversations and create psychological safety. As he said in this article, the idea is not to engage in toxic positivity, but rather to take a moment of play as a break from worries or stressors. 

According to Dr. Shad Helmstetter, by the time most of us are 18, we have heard “no” or “you can’t” approximately 148,000 times. No wonder some of us have a hard time rediscovering play.

RSVP yes.

Jeff suggests inviting play in with some simple ways to work it into our day—and into our work.

1. Identify your zone of genius, or Ikigai. What is the work that you do that makes you forget about time and that you would do even if you weren’t being paid? Yep: Do more of that.

2. Get bored. When you have nothing to do, what are your healthy soothing mechanisms? Do you take a walk or stare out the window? It’s important to just be with the feeling of being bored. You can’t play in an anxious state. At the heart of boredom is uncertainty, but we can turn it into wonder. How many of your childhood games stemmed from boredom?  

3. Reach out. Ask 3-5 of your closest friends two questions: what value do I bring to your life and when have you seen me come the most alive? Not only will you get valuable information, but you can ask these friends to help you to play more in the ways where you are most yourself.

Find your fun. Think about the things you loved to play as a child and identify the “play values” at the heart of these activities. As in, if you loved to put on shows, the values might be “storytelling,” “making people feel good,” etc.

Make play work.

Of course, a lot of Jeff’s work is done with companies with leaders who already understand that play can help them tackle some of their most daunting challenges. In his work with teams and individuals, he strives to give people tools to utilize play more often. Here are two more-play takeaways.

1. Try starting your day with some play, and continually up the ante by asking, “How can this get any better?” Approaching your day with curiosity and looking for the positive aspects of each part will ensure you have a “good day.” Remember, most negative thoughts last 9-90 seconds, so while we may have bad moments, actively looking for the bad in our day becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

2. Start meetings by debating something utterly ridiculous—like whether fries should be soft or crispy. Ask people to argue for their preference, then switch and argue as passionately for the other side. This playful activity will prime participants to strive for understanding—rather than being right—when it comes to discussing more serious things. (Though we might argue, what’s more serious than good fries?)